Home Interview

I think I'm nervous. I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning, running through the list of the things I need to finish today before the home interview.

I have now scrubbed my home clean. Wiped down the kitchen cabinets, cleaned the stove, shampooed the carpet throughout my condo, and dusted EVERYWHERE.

I had to pull myself from the ledge and refrain from power-washing the siding outside. It's too cold.

I think I'm cleaning so much to avoid sitting still and thinking. How invasive will this interview be? And how honest will I be?

It's going down at 1:30.

Ed. Note. Turns out I was really excited about this interview. So excited that I imagined it occurring earlier than scheduled. It's going down NEXT Monday. Wow. I need to get myself together.

Giddy

I should blog more often about what the Dept. of Social Services is not doing.

A representative called today and my home visit is scheduled! I'm excited and nervous. Each time I pass a hurdle in this process, I celebrate the occasion. 

My rep was candid: The home visit will take 3 hours. She'll inspect my home and interview me about my childhood and upbringing. She also told me that this stage of the process will take 2-3 months. She'll interview me, and then her supervisor will raise more questions about my background. And then her supervisor's supervisor will review my case. And then more folks will review it.

It takes a village to vet me.

I appreciate the department's thoroughness. I just hope they are this deliberate and thoughtful when placing me with a child.

And Then. . . .

There is nothing. Just silence. It’s been 2 weeks since I completed the last training class. I haven’t heard a word from the Dept. of Social Services. 

No one has reached out to me to set up a home interview. There are no “next step” instructions. Just. . . .the sound of me patiently waiting. Living.

I don’t want to complain but the quiet is disheartening.

So I’ll use this time as an opportunity to become more patient. I’ve also been productive in my condo – making it more child-friendly. There’s some painting, decorating and furnishing that I need to complete in my child’s bedroom (I no longer think of it as the guest bedroom).

Also, I’m enjoying my last bit of singlehood by hanging with friends and celebrating. In fact, despite the snow and tundra outside, I look forward to hanging with friends tonight for Drag Bingo.

Graduation Night

I graduated last night. Yay me! Really, I say that without sarcasm.

Last night marked the completion of 27 hours of foster/adoption parent training. I’ve been happy and excited at the prospect of having a child in my home for the holidays. But it turns out there are a few more hurdles.

Our trainer made it clear that we are not fully licensed foster/adoption families. The next steps are: home-safety inspection, home interview and personal interviews. And because it’s the holiday season, neither of those will probably occur before January.

And in a moment of candidness, our trainer told me that although I’m at the top of the list of parents to be interviewed (because I will accept a teenage child – more about that in another blog) I probably won’t have a foster child before the end of winter. More specifically, the end of February. This is truly a slow, unwieldy process.

This is definitely a lesson in patience, and I can always use more. I’ve demonstrated my commitment to parenting. I’m really trying to keep the faith, but it seems like the department keeps finding ways to stall this process. The latest official-unofficial requirement? I need to be trained in CPR. I don’t resent the requirement, I resent the haphazard, informal way potential parents are informed of the new needs. This requirement is so new, the department has yet to define it.

So I’ll continue waiting.

Last night’s class was great because we had a guest foster parent come speak to us. Mr. ED (name changed) and I met earlier at the first foster parent “happy hour.” He’s been a single, foster parent for 7 years, and last night he revealed more of his challenges. His son is now a teenager, and Mr. ED was candid about learning that his son is sexually active. His response was to give his son a handful of condoms. I wanted to hug him for being progressive! And then he revealed that his son had a pregnancy scare over the summer, and he talked openly about navigating his son through a difficult period.

I’ve tapped him to be my foster parent mentor. He kept repeating: You’ve got to be an advocate for your child. I loved his message and his honesty.