Of course, this debate might be putting the cart before the horse. I still need to complete 6 more classes and pass a home inspection.
But as this process continues and parenting becomes more tangible, I can’t help but daydream and weigh the options of what I’d want if this world were perfect and I had a choice.
The two things I do know: I do not want a newborn. I’m just not able to care for a newborn child by myself. I’m certain I could do it, however, it’s a responsibility that I’m not ready for. I want a child old enough to say “I’m hungry. I’m cold. I need to go to the bathroom.”
After that, I can make a case for a child of any age or gender. If the child is a pre-teen (and I’m still not completely certain what age SSD defines that as), there’s a better chance the child will be somewhat responsible, or at the least, able to communicate her/his needs. And quite possibly, I can still make a positive impact. And truthfully, I probably won’t grow as attached, which would make the child’s departure easier.
If the child is a girl, I can help her learn how to be a strong young woman, how to value herself, how to be giving and caring. I know how to be a woman.
If the child is a boy, I won’t have to comb his hair every day. But then he might be too vigorous in my home full of elephants.
In a perfect world, I’d get a nice, mild-mannered, docile young girl who is soft-spoken, affectionate and intelligent. Which means I’ll probably get a hell-raising little boy.
